oh baby.

I want to be a doctor SO BADLY. I want to work with anesthesia because it’s so technical and manual and specific and you need to know about everything in medicine, you need to know about surgery and radiology and obstetrics and neonatology, not just pharmology and pharmacotherapy, and I feel like it’s such a liberal artsy-type of field in medicine and that incredibly specific and technical aspect reminds me of art, visual art with the careful inkwork and pencilwork that I used to do, and I feel like I am just meant to do and I just want this, so, so badly and did you ever want something so badly that it hurt you? A person, a place, some kind of belonging? I want this and God, I’m going to get it no matter what.

you know when you liked a person

and then you stopped liking them

and then you chance upon their facebook profile

and behold! they have changed their profile picture for the first time in a century!

and oh

shit

suddenly they are much more attractive than before?

ohhhhh 

oh shit