June 2013
ugh i miss him so fucking much
how very inconvenient
i’m going to lose weight this summer. and take care of my skin and my hair and my legs and my elbows and make myself pretty so he’ll be pleasantly surprised when he sees me again. not that he thinks i’m ugly. he constantly tells me that i’m pretty but i want to believe for myself that i’m pretty. that would make me happy. and i’m prettiest when i’m happy. it’s like that. yanno?
“You guys know about vampires? You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There’s this idea that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. And what I’ve always thought isn’t that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. It’s that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn’t see myself reflected at all. I was like, “Yo, is something wrong with me? That the whole society seems to think that people like me don’t exist? And part of what inspired me, was this deep desire that before I died, I would make a couple of mirrors. That I would make some mirrors so that kids like me might seem themselves reflected back and might not feel so monstrous for it.”
—Junot Diaz, Speaking to students at Bergen Community College, (via aliceincrohnsland)
